Self Awareness

Self awareness is being aware of yourself. Specifically: your feelings, emotions, values, and core. It's how you see yourself as well as how others see you too. Who are you? What do you stand for? What are your likes and dislikes? What makes you you? How do other people see you? Do they know what matters to you or what doesn't? Are other people seeing you for what you are trying to tell them? Or are they seeing something else? I like to think of it as running a diagnostic scan on yourself: how am I emotionally? How am I physically? How am I mentally? Do I understand the connection between feelings and actions?

Emotions and feelings: You just got mad. Do you know why that made you mad? Do you know what to do about it, or how to fix it? For example, "I just dropped my ice cream and now I'm mad and sad. I'm mad at the seagull for divebombing me and I'm sad that I didn't get to eat my ice cream." Now what? I can choose to stay mad and sad, or I can go buy another ice cream and eat it away from the seagulls, like in the car. I can choose to not be mad at the seagull for being hungry. I can choose to not be sad over ice cream. Even though it would have been a yummy treat. How did other people see me during this scene? Did they think I was just some crazy woman yelling at birds? Did I react proportionately or disproportionately. How do I think I reacted during this scene?

Self awareness is assessing yourself and also trying to see how others would assess you as well. This way you can have a whole idea of how you are and not just a one sided opinion. For example, maybe you don't think you have a drinking problem. But when you ask friends or family, maybe they think you drink more than you should. Comparing these two or more takes can help you see how you actually are in the real world.

Another example: You are excited because you were invited on an 8 mile hike. But, as disappointed as you are, you decline the invitation because you know that you could only safely hike 2 miles right now based on the fact that you have done zero training or hardly any exercising. This is an example of being aware of the limitations of your own body.

Being self aware can help you make decisions that are better for you and your future. Being self aware can also increase your happiness as you make these better decisions for yourself. For example, your friends want to go out But you notice that you are feeling exhausted and kind of burnt out. So, instead of saying yes, you say no, and stay home to rest for the weekend. By Monday you are feeling well rested and more energized.

"Ok. This is great and all. But how do I become better at being self aware?" you ask. Well, you need to take the time to check in with yourself. Name that emotion! Try to notice the changes in your feelings and emotions. They will change during the day depending on what you are doing. You might be tired in the morning and then when you have your coffee, suddenly you are feeling awake and ready for the day. Another thing you can do is ask for feedback on things about yourself. This helps you realize if you and the real world are on the same page or not. For example, maybe you're witty comments are not coming off as funny after all and instead are coming off as rude. You won't know until you ask. Another thing is to practice mindfulness. This is basically stopping to run that diagnostic test and to give yourself a chance to give energy back to yourself. Your giving yourself the ability to let go of stress or negative emotions which will give you more energy. Self reflection is another thing. This will give you the chance to say, "Hey, me, maybe I did over react to that poor seagull. I shouldn't have yelled at it. Maybe I need to eat sooner instead of waiting so long. Maybe my blood sugar was too low. Or maybe I was stressed about trying to get ice cream and having to wait in line for so long." Another thing you can do is to take time to make sure you really know what your values and what you stand for are. This will act as your moral compass and will help you make better and faster decisions for yourself. If someone is asking you to do something against your morals, the answer is "NO!" If you don't know what your morals and core values are, this can lead to decisions that make you feel yucky.

In conclusion, take the time to figure yourself out. Be able to name your emotions, feelings, core values and morals. Seek feedback from others to help aid in self reflection. Being more self aware will actually put you in more control of your own life. You will make better decisions and be happier both in the short term and the long run. So go on, start improving your self awareness today.

Thank you for reading and may you find warmth and peace in your near future,

Amber Anderson